Ricblog

Of course it does, Matt Smith was announced as the next Doctor only yesterday. I guess the question i’m really asking is this; does Doctor Who have a stable future once David Tennant has left? I’d like to think the show will go from strength to strength, but I have some very serious doubts. As good as the Christopher Ecclestone first series  was, it was the second series when Doctor Who firmly found it’s feet.  Everyone could relate to Tennant’s portrayal  of the doctor. He was geeky, but cool. Lanky, but sexy. Intelligent but funny. In may ways he was just like me…..ahem. His performance was majestic and he’s gone on to become the nations all time favourite Doctor, knocking Tom Baker of the top spot.  Talking of Tom Baker, he was replaced with a younger Doctor, a certain Peter Davison. Davison was young and replacing Baker’s iconic Doctor was risky. Ignore what Doctor Who Confidential says, Davison taking the role was a complete disaster, and the show went into a steep decline.  I’m old enough to remember Davison as the Doctor. In 1984 I found the show rather boring, but I occasionally watched it and I remember watching Colin Baker emerge as the next Doctor at my Nana’s house and being slightly intrigued, as It was the first time i’d seen the Doctor regenerate. However, by this time the show was considered a complete joke and none of the kids I knew at school bothered watching it. Everyone was into Knight Rider and Airwolf. Doctor Who had had it’s day and after one further gaff (casting Sylvestor Mccoy ) the show was quite rightly cancelled. So, the problem seemed to stem from casting a far younger actor to replace an established and much loved Doctor.  Could history repeat itself? Well, in many ways it already has. Matt Smith is only 26 and is stepping into a very difficult pair of shoes. To many people (including myself) David Tennant is THE Doctor in the same way that people used to think Tom Baker had that exclusive honour. It’s an impossible task to play that role when your predecessor is held in such high regard. It killed the show in the 1980’s and I fear the same might happen again. I hope i’m wrong. But whatever happens watching David Tennant play the Doctor will always be the greatest. He’s the man that brought the character back alive. I’ll reserve judgment on Matt Smith until 2010, he might be brilliant….we’ll just have to wait and see.

The shop is dead and Jonathan Richman (for what seems like the billionth time) sings his generic blues rock to an abscent audience. I’m sat in front of a Christmas tree that’s so heavily decorated that you can’t actually tell it’s a tree at all, just a pyramid of blue balls. Part of me can’t wait for a hyper active child to come in a and knock it over. At least that would add an air of excitement to what clearly is going to be a rather long day. There’s a plastic snow flake hanging behind till 5 that keeps poking me in the eye, and i’m going to take it down in a couple of minutes as it’s going to cause permanent damage to my retena, if it stays up any longer. Christ, i’m bored, really bored, and it’s only 11 o’clock. I’m so bored that i’m mentally mapping out my journey around Sainsbury’s in Stockport. Oh, by the way, Sainsbury’s pork is simply the finest you can buy. So hot foot it down to your local branch and stock up now. You can never have too much pork y’know.

2008 will certainly have a very different feel to it, with many exciting new things going on in my personal life. For the first time ever, I have my own flat and no longer sharing with friends or relatives. Before I moved into my own place quite a few people warned me that living on my own would be a lonely experience. However, this hasn’t proved to be the case and I feel more relaxed and in control than I’ve ever been during the last 5 years. But things are starting to change as I get older. And one of the changes has been on the cards for a while and had a certain amount of inevitability about it. Anyone who reads this blog or knows me personally will be fully aware that i’m a serious record collector and have been for 20 years. But looking through my records and cds the other night, it occured to me that i’ve taken this project as far as it can go. This doesn’t mean i’ve lost interest in music, far from it. Music will always be the most important element in my life and I don’t envisage a time in the near future when it wont be. When I set myself the amazing task of investigating classic rock and other genres such as folk and country I knew deep down I would hit a point where it would have to end. And I always guessed right from the beginning that it would probably take about 20 years or so for this to happen. So does this mean i’ve retired from music? Well, only in the sense that my collection is complete and I feel a desire to move on to something else. What that ’something else’ is will only be revealed during the course of time

As you know, i’m an open minded guy, who’s open to every new suggestion and idea placed in front of me. Erm….okay that’s not true at all. I’m a 31 year old bloke that’s totally set in his ways and hates change. Right, so i’ve started this post from a position of total honesty. And may I just mention that this is the first post i’ve released for over 6 months. Yes, Axl Rose fever set in; i’ve written at least 8 posts, but decided not to release any of them. Why? Cos they were pretty crap and made me sound far madder than I actually am. Although the strange train journey I had last month will certainly appear, once i’ve edited it down a bit. Okay, enough rambling, i’m here to talk about the new Doctor, set to hit our screens in 2010, once David Tennant’s last four specials have been screened. I hasten to add, these specials haven’t even been filmed yet! So we’re getting well ahead of ourselves. Anyway, the next Doctor is………………..Matt Smith. Who the fuck’s Matt Smith?………….He’s a 26 year old actor………….26 years old??????  Is the whole world on a mission to make me feel old? You can’t have a 26 year old boy playing the doctor. Why? Because I can’t look up to someone who’s 5 years  younger than me. Also he looks like an ugly version of David Tennant, with a boxers nose. I wanted James Nesbitt to be the next doctor (that would have worked) or Brian Blessed (that wouldn’t have worked, but funny). In my mind the doctor is certainly no younger than mid to late 30’s when it comes to casting. I don’t believe that a young actor can portray the life experience the doctor has. After all he’s 901 years old. Also, are we going to end up with an assistant that’s far younger than Matt Smith? The idea of some annoying 15 year old hanging out in the tardis is probably just as annoying as young teenagers that beat me at snooker. I hate teenagers.  The train was full of them this afternoon.  Stupid hair and fluffy boots. Grrr…..

I’m going now, i’m really hungry and there’s some salmon in the fridge. Hmmm…might have it with new potatoes and peas. Don’t have any potatoes. I’m off to the Co-op to get some, better not be any teenagers there. Did I mention I hate young people?

Here is my final cast listing for ‘Blackwell’s The Movie’ currently in it’s preproduction stages.

Noel Edmonds as Richard Holden

Bonnie Langford as Benedict Gifford

Will Self as Andy Leyland

Mick Fleetwood as Steven Haygarth

Scarlet Johanson as Vicki Ball

Stephen Fry as Anne Swarbrick

Barry Cryer as Peter Huxley

That bloke from the Mr. Muscle adverts as Chris Whiting

Linda Ronstadt as Ruth the new girl

Dale Winton as David Coates

Keith Richards as Paul Mcloughlin

Richard Hammond as Iain Finlayson

Roland from Grange Hill in the 80’s as Ian Carrington

Brian Blessed as Sue Chapman

Amy Winehouse as Mary Timmins

Charlotte Church as Clair the missing cash office girl

Brian Sewell as Gareth Cutter

David Tennant as Rhys Bartle

And finally;

Steve Coogan as myself

This is sure to be a blockbuster of a movie. Now give me some money to make it.

Andy Leyland is a work friend of mine at Blackwell’s. We have known each other for 12 years and even though we are politically at odds with each other, i’ve always respected his knowledge and intelligence. Andy currently has an art exhibition at the Arison Gallery in Chorlton, Manchester. And I briefly attended the opening private view, which took place last night. I’ve never had a good knowledge of art, but in many ways this might make me the ideal person to view and discuss art, without an preconceptions as to what i’m ’supposed’ to be seeing. I’ll be honest, Andy’s work is not my cup of tea at all, and there was only one painting I really warmed to. The painting in question was a scene of woodland with a striking red coated figure walking into the foreground. Titled ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and nothing like his usual sombre work, it stood out from the others like a sore thumb. Maybe that’s why I liked it. Leyland’s work has often had dark undertones and maybe that’s why I find it so hard to relate to the art that he does. He is however a very talented artist, but I couldn’t help noticing the drop in quality when comparing this exhibition to the one I attended in 2003. I felt that several paintings seemed rushed or almost half hearted. In some cases I failed to conjure up any emotion when looking at some of his most recent work. This is just one opinion, and I would certainly encourage everyone to go down to the Arison Gallery to make their own judgements. I’m sure there will be at least one painting that will grab your attention. Or in the case of ‘The Dying Insect’ make you feel a little uneasy. Andy Leyland’s work continues to challenge, and that, in my opinion, is the most important element of art.

Yes, i’m spending the morning listening to Neon Bible by Arcade Fire. One great track (intervention) and several songs I couldn’t give a damn about tagged on to some that are truly awful (My Body Is A Cage, Neon Bible, That one where he’s trying to rip off Springsteen). What a shame cos Funeral was fucking amazing. Neon Bible just sounds lame…………….. I can’t believe people come into my bookshop eating crisps!!! Don’t even think about touching any of my travel books with greasy fingers. Jesus, he’s ruining all my books. Bastard! Anyway, yesterday was a comedy of errors that found me blocking up the toilet in my flat, tripping out all the electrics whilst changing a light bulb, then wandering around in the dark trying to find the fuse box, stubbing my toe in the process. To top the day off I then lost badly at snooker and had to wait half an hour for a taxi. Y’know my days off are more complicated than when I come to ‘work’. It’s Mothers Day today, so make sure you see your mum and tell her she’s the best. Cos without her you wouldn’t have been born and therefore unable to read this. Pretty cosmic stuff, i’m sure you’ll agree. The Clash are playing now, it’s their debut album. Joe Strummer was a very angry militant political man, wasn’t he. And now he’s dead, so let that be a lesson to you. I actually really like The Clash, but I still think Strummer was a bit of a dick. Mick Jagger however is a total dick. And don’t even get me started on Morrissey. This post is wandering all over the place, but to be honest so is my brain and a furry toy has just fallen off the top of the monitor and scared the shit out of me. So I guess that means i’m emotionally unbalanced too. Whilst i’m talking about monitors let me explain that a certain ex member of staff has pissed about with the resolution on the screen, so everything looks like it’s about four miles away. Unless everything IS four miles away and i’ve left my head somewhere near Levenshulme train station. Highly unlikely, but I never rule out the impossible. In my world Unicorns are real!!!!!! Don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise.

Yeah, i’ve not died after all. Turns out I was subjected to burly men destroying the ground floor and couldn’t even find a computer, let alone get on one. Since i’ve moved into my new flat i’ve mastered the art of pork. Yes, I said pork. Y’know, the stuff they make pigs out of. Well, Ric’s tip of the day is thusly;

A good thick pork chop should be placed on a baking tray lightly covered with butter. Preheat your oven to gas mark 9. Place your porky fun on the top shelf of the oven.

Cook the fucker for half an hour!!

Who need Nigella? Well, actually I do. If only for her breasts and sexy voice. Hmmmmm……………….anyway. Last night I was all alone browsing through my record collection whilst watching a repeat of Top Gear (rock n roll lifestyle to the hilt, i’m sure you’ll agree) when I came to the conclusion that records are far better than cds. And here’s why;

1, They’re bigger. And we all know that 12 inches is far better than 5 inches, don’t we fellas.

2, Some mid 80’s pressings are so thin, they’re razor sharp. If anyone attempted to mug you, it could be used as some cunning weapon to hack their head off. 

3, Run out of plates at your cheese and wine party? Then simply use those old Bucks fizz records for the guests you least like.

4, You can use record sleeves to hide pornograpic magazines from your mum. Trust me, this works.

5, Place a record over a pan of boiling water. After a while the record will collapse in on it’s self. Thus creating a durable plant pot for you spring flowers. This works too!

6, If you play a record backwards it enables you to hear satanic messages, placed on there by satan himself.

7, The inner sleeves for Japanese records are usually just made of thin plastic film. Fill up the inner sleeve with water then tie the end up. Hey presto! A massive water bomb.

8, Use it as a dartboard. Each track would be worth different points. The hole in the middle would be the Bullseye. And the run out groove for the first song would be treble 20 etc. Extra points if you manage to land your dart on the bit in ‘Day In The Life’ when the alarm clock goes off.

9, Play frisby on the beach with your copy of Rumours by Fleetwood Mac

10, If you break down in your car, a stack of records can be used as an emergency wheel. Erm…. this isn’t highly recommended.

Bye for now.

Post deleted.