Ricblog

This is actually an email I sent to my friend Gary on the 29th of December 2006. So strictly speaking, this is not a new post. However, I feel it deserves a place here:

 I don’t know why this shop bothers opening during Christmas week, the university is shut and all the students have gone home to swindle money out of their parents. Without doubt Christmas 2006 was truly awful, even worse than 2003, and that’s saying something. Went round to Rob’s Mum and Dad’s on Christmas day where I was given enough food to feed me for an entire decade. By this stage I was already pissed as i’d managed to down 4 pints in the Moor Top on an empty stomach before going round. While in the pub Emma (rob’s niece) took it upon herself to completely disable my phone, which is why I didn’t text back on Christmas day. Having eaten what felt like a whole banquet Dave picked me up in the car and off we headed to my Nana’s nursing home to meet Jo, Dan, Mum and Nana.  When I got there Nana didn’t even know it was Christmas day!!!! (This is pure genius, might try that trick next year) Dan was wearing sun glasses, indoors, during December…….erm…..okay. Jo’s face was bright red, like she was going to explode or something. And Mum tried her very best to pretend it was 1985. While handing out the presents my Nana just stared at us all as if we’re mad (Which indeed we are). Having got that nonsense out of the way I pretended I had a headache so I could get away as soon as possible. This time it was Jo’s turn to be my chauffer, so off we headed to the shit heap that is sometimes known as Heaton Norris. During the journey I was slagged off for living in Stockport and basically for being alive I think. I was glad to get home. By this time it was nearly 6.00 o’clock, Dr Who would be on in an hour, oh goody.  Got a can of Guinness out of the fridge, lit a fag and for a while I was in heaven. I say for a while cos then all the lights tripped out and I was plunged into darkness. Having to decend into the cellar with only a lighter to guide my path was rather scary, the fuse box is in the cellar you see, to make my life awkward. Lights back on!!! I really am a clever boy. Watched Doctor Who, listened to some Aerosmith and proceeded to drink Guinness til it came out of my ears. You see the later part of Christmas day wasn’t really that bad it was just all the bollocks I was forced to do before hand. Did I get good presents?, well my Mum got me a first aid kit for some reason. Highlight of 2006? Watching fat boy Barlow trying to negotiate his fat arse round stage during an audience with Take That. Now that truly was funny!

Sadly, my nana died in May this year, she was 93 years old.