Ricblog

Here is my final cast listing for ‘Blackwell’s The Movie’ currently in it’s preproduction stages.

Noel Edmonds as Richard Holden

Bonnie Langford as Benedict Gifford

Will Self as Andy Leyland

Mick Fleetwood as Steven Haygarth

Scarlet Johanson as Vicki Ball

Stephen Fry as Anne Swarbrick

Barry Cryer as Peter Huxley

That bloke from the Mr. Muscle adverts as Chris Whiting

Linda Ronstadt as Ruth the new girl

Dale Winton as David Coates

Keith Richards as Paul Mcloughlin

Richard Hammond as Iain Finlayson

Roland from Grange Hill in the 80’s as Ian Carrington

Brian Blessed as Sue Chapman

Amy Winehouse as Mary Timmins

Charlotte Church as Clair the missing cash office girl

Brian Sewell as Gareth Cutter

David Tennant as Rhys Bartle

And finally;

Steve Coogan as myself

This is sure to be a blockbuster of a movie. Now give me some money to make it.

Andy Leyland is a work friend of mine at Blackwell’s. We have known each other for 12 years and even though we are politically at odds with each other, i’ve always respected his knowledge and intelligence. Andy currently has an art exhibition at the Arison Gallery in Chorlton, Manchester. And I briefly attended the opening private view, which took place last night. I’ve never had a good knowledge of art, but in many ways this might make me the ideal person to view and discuss art, without an preconceptions as to what i’m ’supposed’ to be seeing. I’ll be honest, Andy’s work is not my cup of tea at all, and there was only one painting I really warmed to. The painting in question was a scene of woodland with a striking red coated figure walking into the foreground. Titled ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and nothing like his usual sombre work, it stood out from the others like a sore thumb. Maybe that’s why I liked it. Leyland’s work has often had dark undertones and maybe that’s why I find it so hard to relate to the art that he does. He is however a very talented artist, but I couldn’t help noticing the drop in quality when comparing this exhibition to the one I attended in 2003. I felt that several paintings seemed rushed or almost half hearted. In some cases I failed to conjure up any emotion when looking at some of his most recent work. This is just one opinion, and I would certainly encourage everyone to go down to the Arison Gallery to make their own judgements. I’m sure there will be at least one painting that will grab your attention. Or in the case of ‘The Dying Insect’ make you feel a little uneasy. Andy Leyland’s work continues to challenge, and that, in my opinion, is the most important element of art.

Yes, i’m spending the morning listening to Neon Bible by Arcade Fire. One great track (intervention) and several songs I couldn’t give a damn about tagged on to some that are truly awful (My Body Is A Cage, Neon Bible, That one where he’s trying to rip off Springsteen). What a shame cos Funeral was fucking amazing. Neon Bible just sounds lame…………….. I can’t believe people come into my bookshop eating crisps!!! Don’t even think about touching any of my travel books with greasy fingers. Jesus, he’s ruining all my books. Bastard! Anyway, yesterday was a comedy of errors that found me blocking up the toilet in my flat, tripping out all the electrics whilst changing a light bulb, then wandering around in the dark trying to find the fuse box, stubbing my toe in the process. To top the day off I then lost badly at snooker and had to wait half an hour for a taxi. Y’know my days off are more complicated than when I come to ‘work’. It’s Mothers Day today, so make sure you see your mum and tell her she’s the best. Cos without her you wouldn’t have been born and therefore unable to read this. Pretty cosmic stuff, i’m sure you’ll agree. The Clash are playing now, it’s their debut album. Joe Strummer was a very angry militant political man, wasn’t he. And now he’s dead, so let that be a lesson to you. I actually really like The Clash, but I still think Strummer was a bit of a dick. Mick Jagger however is a total dick. And don’t even get me started on Morrissey. This post is wandering all over the place, but to be honest so is my brain and a furry toy has just fallen off the top of the monitor and scared the shit out of me. So I guess that means i’m emotionally unbalanced too. Whilst i’m talking about monitors let me explain that a certain ex member of staff has pissed about with the resolution on the screen, so everything looks like it’s about four miles away. Unless everything IS four miles away and i’ve left my head somewhere near Levenshulme train station. Highly unlikely, but I never rule out the impossible. In my world Unicorns are real!!!!!! Don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise.